Tag Archives: anxiety

08:00 – 08:45

Full of foul language so maybe not a good thing to read around the kids!

I’m Not The Only One Here Am I?

Extract from the voice inside my head, it’s loud, obnoxious, demeaning and I’m pretty sure a sadist to boot. There most of the time some days are quieter than others most days are like this all day. Distractions help push it further back, but some days it’s a bit more difficult to cover up.

Come on mate up you get. Look your not even comfortable, your head aches and that back pain you’ve got will only get worse. No man, rolling over isn’t enough, you’ve got to get up and put something on. You even need a piss now too, you going to ignore that? It gives you a stomach ache when you do! Theres no way around it you need to get up for that. What do you mean no?!

The fuck is wrong with you? Your daughters waiting for you, your wife is ready to start the day and your there, fucking vegetating in your own sweat. Listen up you filthy cunt, enough’s enough, you either get up now or your going to have the shittest day I can throw at you! Hows that stomach ache going? Ay, does it hurt yet? Haha keep it up dickhead this is only the start, your heads really killing now though isn’t it? Yeah, can you feel it? Like someones driving little screws into your head, pushing hard against your temples, haha prick, you think you don’t deserve this? You fucking asked for it, get up, roll over, put your feet on the floor and do something. Useless cunt, fuck you. What do you mean “you can’t”? Jesus fucking wept, you are some piece of work, you really are. Lying there all pathetic and limp. You can’t feel anything but pain, yeah, well get up then.

What do you mean “why”, did I not make it clear enough the first time around, fuck you and whatever bullshit your thinking, get up, go and see your family, say hi and give them a cuddle. It’s the least you can do to be fair, your no fucking good for anything else. Sack of shit you are, reading all your nonsense political crap, no one cares shit stain. You might think that one day you’ll be able to make some use of it, but heres the skinny on that one, no one gives a shit what you think. You think your so smart, your not, everybody is smarter than you, fuck me even the dog can sort his shit out better than you, cunt.

Your still there then? Ooohhhh you’ve moved a few inches! What do you want me to say about that? What you want a fucking medal or something? People your age years ago were facing down machine guns in a field for you to just lay there, fuck me your an embarrassment to what they died for. Come on shit head, keep moving, thats right move a bit more and again. Don’t stop now wanker, your nearly there. What do you mean “will I leave you alone if I get up”, no I fucking won’t. You know I wont because I’m always here, someones got to hold your fucking hand through out a day, your pathetic mate. Hows your head? Oh well if its a little better its time for some bigger screws, you’ll like these ones, I’ve had them on the gas burner for a while now, not to going to bother screwing them either, I’m just going to hammer them in, real slow like, haha you’ll regret laying there like a cunt I tell you.

Whey, your up! Hoo fuckin’ ray, it’s about time you cunt. Oh stop it, just bloody walk. Gut ache? Well yeah thats because you didn’t get up for that piss you were busting for twenty minutes a go. Dickhead, don’t think its over just because you’ve been now, oh fucking no, your going to keep that feeling and a few others I’ve got lined up, haha prick. The best part is no ones going to give a shit when it hurts, you know why, they cant see it, can’t feel it and no one gives a fuck about your latest bit of pain. “Pain, pain, you haven’t done anything, how can you be in pain” they’ll say. Hahaha, you and I’ll be the only ones that know how it feels and I’m the deliverer so I cant feel shit, hahaha, I love it. Oh fuck off, its not that bad, cunt.

Hahaha, this ain’t nothing mate, this is just a fucking warm up. The rest of the day is going to be like this and your too much of a dick to say anything, too scared that I’ll leave you, too scared they wont believe you, haha they already don’t believe you. Thats the best part, if they don’t think I’m real your just sitting there thinking this shit to yourself, your the one doing this, not me! This is your fault, you made me, I am your creation and you can pay the fucking price of it. Now get some clothes on shitface, don’t bother with anything nice you look like a bag of shit no matter what. Fat cunt, look at you, fat cunt, big fat fucking cunt. Jesus I can’t bear to even look at you, let alone anybody else. Your sickening, you know that, really sickening. Stretch marks and a gut, look at you. No money, look like shit, thick as fuck, useless excuse of a human, you’d make better grass food you would, no coffin or anything, just a shallow ditch, give the animals something to munch on, might as well make use of you, fat cunt.

Go on dickhead up the stairs, and put a fucking smile on your face, they don’t need to hear how you ‘feel’, fucking idiot with your ‘feelings’ get over yourself. I’m not going anywhere, you and I both know that, so put a smile on your face and pretend to everyone else I’m not there, they don’t know about me and it’s going to fucking stay like that, you understand me? You don’t want a punch in the face again like the other day do you? Hahaha idiot hitting yourself like that, oh man that was funny.

Anyway your there now, pretend all is well and don’t you fucking dare mention me, I’m listening, always listening, you fuck up and I’m coming for you. Now get to it……..

“Morning, oh wow that smells nice” “oh yes please, coffee would be great thanks”, “yeah not bad, sorry I slept in, what did I miss?”